Will Haunt Evil (For A Modest Fee)
by Salomedancing
Summary: Welcome to The Vanessa Ives Foundation where problems of a certain nature are solved. Features or mentions Renfield, Sir Malcolm Murray, Vanessa Ives, Ethan Chandler, Ferdinand Lyle, Sembene, Victor Frankenstein, The Creature, Lily, Dr. Seward, Dorian Grey, Henry Jekyll and Catriona Hardtegen.


**AN: I love _Penny Dreadful_ , but though I found the conclusions largely satisfying, there were quite a few plotlines that were left a bit hanging. This is my (hopefully) humorous attempt to right this. Written just for fun and should not be taken seriously. Contain spoilers for the last season. Ivy Pearson is a character from a few movie versions of _Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde_ , a young woman who is unfortunate enough to attract the attention of Mr. Hyde.**

"Welcome, welcome, to the Vanessa Ives Foundation, please step inside. You must be Miss Ivy Pearson, I understand you have a little problem of a, ah, _special_ nature. My name is Renfield and I am to give you a little tour of our facilities before you decide if you want our services, or not. You will meet Sir Malcolm a little later, he is at a meeting at the moment.

As you know we have been in business for a few years now and we have largely been successful. I myself, if it's not too immodest to mention, is actually their very first client and success. Dr. Seward kindly thinks this little job is very beneficial for me. I don't alarm you, I hope? I do that sometimes. Dr. Seward says that a prospective client who still wants to hire us after my introduction truly have a problem. Ha ha ha, she's so funny. American, you know, they have such marvellous sense of humour.

Let's go upstairs. There you have a portrait of the dear Miss Ives. A Sargent, of course- it almost does her beauty justice. Such a tragedy, to die so young with so much potential. She was Sir Malcolm's ward, and it's to honour her our little league was formed.

Here's the guest room. Many of our client temporarily lives here until their problems are solved. You look a little worried? I understand, a proper young lady like you and a house full of men, but in such cases Miss Hardtegen, stays in the next room. She's our thanatologist, but don't let that fool you into thinking she's dreary company. A feisty young woman, very feisty- she and Sir Malcolm are such good friends.

What did you say? No, I don't live here. But Sir Malcolm, does, of course and Mr. Chandler. You won't meet him now, he's currently in Egypt. We have recently open an office there- as I said we are quite successful, and we were incredibly lucky to have Ferdinand Lyle attached to it. The famous Egyptologist, you know. Anyway, they have a slight mummy problem at the moment and Mr. Chandler are there to help sorting it out.

Let's go downstairs again. As I mentioned we have Dr. Seward for the psychological aspects and then there is Dr. Frankenstein for the more physical ones. Such a sensitive young man, but very talented. Here's the library. You will probably get a slight shock when you see the librarian for the first time, but don't let his unfortunate looks scare you. A dreadful accident, I have been told, but Mr. Clare is a gentle soul, a very gentle soul. Do you like poetry? Good, then you will get along. He has a beautiful voice and it's always a pleasure to listen to him recite the great poets. He isn't here, either, right now. I'm sure you are familiar with Lily Croft's organisation for improving the conditions of the city's poorest children? Of course you are, she does a lot of good work, I have been told. Mr Clare volunteers there whenever he has a spare moment.

The kitchen area, and here we have Sembene. Don't let us disturb you, I'm just showing a prospective client around the house. Oh, my dear Miss, you look a little pale. How stupid of me, I guess I should have warned you about Sembene too. He looks a little grey, I know and sort of, well dead, I suppose. But he is an excellent cook and tea time is always a treat here. He just showed up one day and took residency in the kitchen, but he doesn't speak much. Never actually. I have heard Sir Malcolm mutter that he swears he buried him in Africa. Ha ha ha, Sir Malcolm has a great sense of humour too.

And that finish our little tour. Still think we can do something for you? You do! Excellent, excellent. And you had a little problem with a supernatural stalker, you said, Miss Pearson? Not Dorian Grey? We have had some problems with that one. Oh, Lord Hyde. I _see_. Well, I am sure we will be able to help you. And the fee is really very modest."


End file.
